In David’ Emerald’s Empowerment Dynamic triangle, the Challenger role is one of the three empowering alternatives to the Drama Triangle. Yet, it is not the role we tend to reach for as easily as the reactive, disempowering Persecutor role.
Before I share a story from my time at RNS Nursing, let’s look at the difference between the two.
Persecutor vs. Challenger
Persecutors fear being powerless (being the Victim).
They use blame and defensiveness to control others or situations and to win at all costs. They have little tolerance for compassion, ambiguity, or uncertainty.
🔹 Note: a Persecutor can also be non-human, such as a health condition or a natural disaster.
Sounds like:
“I’ll keep it short, to be frank, this isn’t up for discussion – we’re doing it my way.” “If you can’t handle it, I’ll find someone who can.” “Stop overthinking and just do it.”
- Feels like:
Fearful of uncertainty (which justifies the need to control).
Discounted (which breeds anger and lashing out).
Defensive (pressure to be right or perform). - Behaviours:
Control and domination.
Exerting power over others, overtly or covertly.
Challengers, on the other hand, are catalysts for learning.
They stand for the vision, even when others don’t. They let go of unnecessary details, focus on outcomes, and often shake things up as “truth tellers.”
Sounds like:
“This isn’t easy, but it matters – let’s stay with it.” “Let’s check if our actions line up with our values.” “What’s the bigger picture we need to remember.”
- Feels like:
Compassion for self and others (since learning can be uncomfortable).
Motivation that comes from focusing on values and outcomes. - Behaviours:
Calling forth the best in others as Creators.
Holding self and others accountable for growth and learning.
Can You See the Difference?
It’s easy to ping-pong between the Persecutor and the Challenger. Especially under stress, most of us default to the Persecutor role. This image below is what we call the choice point, I won’t go into it in detail here, but it is a helpful info-graphic worth placing somewhere we can see it – we get to choose the roles we play, be it Persecutor or Challenger or any other of these healthy or less healthy roles.
The Challenger sounds, feels and behaves in a way many of us have never had modelled to us, nor did our parents have it modelled to them. Thus it does take conscious practice and a willingness to find compassion for ourselves, as we will not always get it right.
Also interesting about challengers is they’re not all equal. Some are constructive, calling forth growth with purpose. Others are deconstructive, provoking fear, scarcity, or control.
I learned this in business more than once.
Case Study 1: Reverse Auction – The Deconstructive Challenger
Years ago, under the Queensland Health Preferred Supplier Agreement, the top 20 nursing agencies were asked to participate in a new panel arrangement. The process was a reverse auction — suppliers underbidding each other to win a place. There would only be places for 10 agencies on the panel. It was a very big deal!
For me, as a smaller agency amongst the throng of national organisations, winning a spot was essential. It was also a key step in preparing the business for eventual acquisition.
I had spent weeks with my accountant building a value-based pricing model. But when the auction opened, the clock ticked, and I started reacting — lowering bids like it was reverse eBay.
I was slipping into scarcity mode.
Thankfully, my accountant interrupted: “Susan, it’s not a race to the bottom. Don’t go below the model we agreed on. It’s not worth it.”
That pause saved me from undermining the values I’d built the business on. Quality requires margin — without it, survival isn’t possible.
The system itself was the deconstructive Challenger. It triggered reactivity, but it also revealed a choice: to stay anchored in purpose and asking for expert advice, rather than sit there alone, also now stands out to me.
Case Study 2: Earnout Leadership – Another Deconstructive Challenger
Later, during a two-year earnout after selling my business, I faced another deconstructive Challenger: head office leadership.
They dismissed our local success, wanted us to ditch our brand before we’d agreed to, and imposed hierarchical, combative control. At the time, I felt victimised. I constantly had to check in with myself to stay calm, not lose my confidence, and try to understand what was going on beneath the surface – for them and for me.
But in hindsight, it was a powerful teacher. With my internal team, where trust was solid, we created a plan to stay focused on what we believed mattered for our staff, clients, and stakeholders.
That period clarified what kind of leadership I never wanted to model nor work under. It sharpened my compass for leading with clarity not control.
The Value of Recognising Challengers
Constructive challengers stretch us with purpose. Deconstructive challengers provoke fear.
Both can teach us, if we pause and reflect.
And this is where self-leadership becomes essential. It’s what allows us to notice when we’re triggered, pause, and choose to anchor in clarity, purpose, and courage.
As leaders — in every role of our lives — we carry a responsibility to embody the constructive Challenger: to confront, question, and stretch with the intent to build, not diminish.
How to Begin and Deepen the Shift
- Begin the Shift:
- Develop compassion and empathy.
- Reflect on the intent behind your actions and words.
- Become comfortable with not knowing.
- Deepen the Shift:
- Cultivate self-awareness in the moment.
- Practise pausing and reflecting before responding.
- Discern the true intention behind your challenging behaviour.
👉 If you’d like to explore how to bring self-leadership and constructive challenge into your life, for you first, or your workplace, join me in an upcoming Lead Believe Create Conversation Café or reach out to discuss our public workshops or private bookings.
Send me a message and I’ll share information on what’s coming up next.
If you missed last week’s blog, check it out: ‘What is Self-Leadership’ at www.susandunlop.com.au/blog