The 3 Vital Questions (3VQ®) can be a powerful tool for supporting conflict resolution in teams by shifting individuals and groups from reactive behaviours to more empowered, solution-focused actions. By focusing on the core questions of:
- Where are you putting your focus?
- How are you relating?
- What actions are you taking?
3VQ® helps individuals and teams create clarity, communicate more effectively, and work collaboratively to resolve conflicts.
Here’s how 3VQ® can specifically support conflict resolution in teams:
1. Shifting Focus from Problems to Outcomes
One of the core principles of 3VQ® is helping individuals focus on outcomes rather than dwelling on problems. In conflict situations, teams often get stuck in drama by focusing on blame or negative emotions, which can escalate tension. The first question in 3VQ, Where are you putting your focus? encourages team members to shift their attention from the conflict itself to the desired outcome and how they can move forward.
How it works in conflict resolution:
- Instead of focusing on the individuals or situations causing the conflict, the team focuses on what they want to create together.
- By shifting the focus to desired outcomes, such as improving communication or finding a resolution, team members can reduce emotional reactivity and begin working towards a common goal.
2. Improving Communication through Empathy
3VQ® also addresses how we relate to others in conflict situations. The second question, How are you relating? encourages individuals to step back and reflect on how they are interacting with each other. It helps individuals move away from reactive roles (such as Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer) and adopt more empowering roles (such as Creator, Challenger, and Coach).
How it works in conflict resolution:
- Team members can choose to communicate from an empowered mindset (Creator role), where they approach the conflict with curiosity, respect, and a desire to collaborate.
- By embracing the Challenger role, team members can approach the conflict with honest inquiry, asking thoughtful questions and challenging assumptions without attacking others.
- The Coach role encourages a supportive approach, where team members listen actively, help each other reflect on the issues at hand, and guide one another toward solutions.
3. Encouraging Personal Responsibility
The third question in 3VQ, What actions are you taking? encourages individuals to take personal responsibility for their role in the conflict and how they can contribute to a resolution. This empowers team members to move away from blaming others or external circumstances and instead focus on their own actions and choices.
How it works in conflict resolution:
- By asking themselves what actions they can take, team members are encouraged to take proactive steps toward resolution rather than waiting for others to act or for the situation to change on its own.
- This mindset shift promotes accountability and reduces reactive behaviour, such as defensiveness or withdrawal, which can prolong conflicts.
4. Creating a Positive and Outcomes-Focused Culture
When 3VQ® is integrated into a team’s conflict resolution process, it promotes a culture of constructive feedback, open dialogue, and collaborative problem-solving in service of the outcomes the team is aligned to. Teams are encouraged to view conflict not as a problem to avoid but as an opportunity to learn, grow, and innovate together.
How it works in conflict resolution:
- Teams become outcomes-focused, where they are actively seeking ways to address the underlying issues causing the conflict and move forward in a positive direction.
- The principles of TED*® and 3VQ® encourage courageous conversations and create a safe space where people feel empowered to share their concerns, express their needs, and offer solutions without fear of judgment or retaliation.
5. Promoting Resilience and Moving Beyond Conflict
3VQ® helps teams build resilience in the face of conflict by encouraging a mindset shift that moves beyond the immediate discomfort of the situation. Instead of allowing conflict to overwhelm or paralyse the team, 3VQ® guides individuals to look at how they can learn from the experience, make adjustments, and strengthen their relationships.
How it works in conflict resolution:
- Teams are encouraged to use dynamic tension (a concept from TED*® ) to explore the tension created by the conflict, allowing them to view it as a catalyst for growth rather than a barrier to success.
- The 5-Step Action Plan in 3VQ® provides a structured approach for resolving conflict, where teams can map out clear steps for moving from the problem to the solution, ensuring follow-through and commitment to change.
6. Creating a Safe Space for Open Dialogue
One of the most important aspects of resolving conflict is creating a space where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. 3VQ® provides a framework for psychological safety, where people are more likely to speak up, express their concerns, and collaborate on solutions without fear of retribution or negative consequences.
How it works in conflict resolution:
- By integrating 3VQ, teams are more likely to feel heard and understood. This openness leads to healthier debates, where team members engage with differing viewpoints constructively rather than defensively.
- With the focus on appreciative inquiry and solution-focused conversations, the environment becomes one where individuals are encouraged to share and resolve conflicts as a team.
Conclusion: 3VQ® as a Tool for Conflict Resolution
By adopting the 3VQ® framework, teams can significantly improve how they handle conflict by shifting their focus from drama and emotional reactions to proactive, empowering actions. The principles of focus, relating, and action guide individuals through conflict with clarity, responsibility, and collaboration, leading to sustainable solutions and stronger relationships.
Integrating 3VQ® into conflict resolution processes fosters a culture of empowerment, respect, and resilience, enabling teams to navigate challenges effectively and grow stronger from the experience.
Interested in bringing the principles and frameworks of the 3 Vital Questions into your life and workplace? Book a time to have a chat with me and let’s see where the 3 Vital Questions can help you immediately.