Susan Dunlop: Lead Believe Create
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At Susan Dunlop: Lead Believe Create, we’re dedicated to empowering individuals and organisations to thrive. Through transformative coaching, training, and advocacy, we foster resilience, empathy, and growth. Our mission is to create a ripple effect of positive change, building a community where every voice is heard, and every person is empowered to live authentically. With our unique blend of expertise, compassion, and advocacy, we drive meaningful impact and transformation in the lives of our clients, partners, employees, and community. Join us as we lead, believe, and create a world where empowerment is accessible to all.
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Breaking the drama triangle
The Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interaction, created by psychotherapist Stephen Karpman.
Each point on the triangle represents a common and ineffective response to conflict, one more likely to prolong disharmony than to end it.
Participants in a drama triangle create misery for themselves and others. The goal is to transform this lose-lose situation and create a more positive outcome for everyone.
Each player in this particular mind game begins by assuming one of three archetypical roles: Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor.
• Victims are helpless and hopeless. They deny responsibility for their negative circumstances, and deny possession of the power to change them. They do less than 50%, won’t take a stand, act “super-sensitive”, resort to anger, want kid glove treatment, and pretend impotence and incompetence.
• Rescuers are constantly applying short-term repairs to a Victim’s problems, whilst neglecting their own needs. They are always working hard to “help” other people. They are harried, tired, and often have physical complaints. They are usually angry underneath and may be a loud or quiet martyr in style. They use guilt to get their way.
• Persecutors blame the Victims and criticise the enabling behaviour of Rescuers, without providing guidance, assistance or a solution to the underlying problem. They are critical and unpleasant and good at finding fault. They often feel inadequate underneath. They control with threats, order, and rigidity. They can be loud or quiet in style and sometimes be a bully.
This game can be played alone, it doesn’t need 3 people to make a triangle destructive.
Once you become aware of the roles, you will observe more often that you may run quickly through each of of the 3 roles in your self-talk. Or you’ll watch others. It’s fascinating!
Players sometimes alternate or “switch” roles during the course of a game. For example, a Rescuer pushed too far by a Persecutor will switch to the role of Victim or counter-Persecutor. Victims depend on a saviour, Rescuers love a basket case and Persecutors need a scapegoat.
Whilst a healthy person will perform in each of these roles occasionally, pathological role-players actively avoid leaving the familiar and comfortable environment of the game. Thus, if no recent misfortune has befallen them or their loved ones, they will often create one.
In each case, the drama triangle is an instrument of destruction.
There is a way to “escape” the Drama Triangle, a way I have brought into my coaching with clients, that is The Empowerment Dynamic, which I learnt from the founders of TED*Works. Let me show you how.
