DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY NOW

BUT HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

I was seated in the second back row of a Rotary talk on Monday night, with a chatterbox behind me, and rows of close to 100 guests beside and in front of me, who were either avidly listening; lost and sipping a wine or peeping at their watches; or quietly snoozing with the odd nudge from a wife or husband.

I found it a deep and interesting talk. I was there because I’d been invited to it more so than was drawn to the topic. The topic of the Healthy Ageing Mind, presented by Dr Ben Isabel, full of tonne of facts, study data and practical information on #mindfulness, was information that any human being would benefit from hearing and taking action about. Because we’re all ageing, that’s not even a question!

Mindfulness, meditation and the ways of living mindfully are now being seen as key preventative measures for dementia.

Something I did not know, although I meditate daily. Ben shared

“an MRI study comparing meditators and managed controls shows that at age 50, meditators’ brains were 7.5 years younger than the controls.”

Ben Isabel

Two items Ben said might be the starting point to aid the healthy ageing of the brain are AEROBIC EXERCISE (not necessarily smashing out a gym session, but incorporating more movement through your day) and SOCIAL CONNECTION.

Then he shared the two stand-outs to stop doing are RUMINATING AND WORRYING.

Hmmmm…. OK! Yes, that makes sense.

Everyone chuckled at the next slide that was a meme of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.

I added a second sentence. But How?

How do we eliminate worry and choose happiness?

How do we do that in a practical sense?

Is worry something you, your family, or your workplace default to?

I could see the room around me beginning to fidget, in taking that message on board. Some looking into the bottom of their now empty wine glass, hoping for one last drop. I visualised the room as having hundreds of question marks bobbling around in the air.

‘Your Thoughts, Not The World, Cause Your Stress’

Wayne Dyer

In layman’s terms, the 3 Vital Questions® and TED*™(The Empowerment Dynamic are frameworks, simple to learn, understand and practice, and they are 100% about how we can Stop Worrying and Be Happy Now!

They are part of the body of work that I’m certified in, which I most often talk about quite literally, using the training course titles:

The 3 Vital Questions®: Transforming Workplace Drama with the Power of TED*™

AND

The 3 Vital Questions® Applying the Power of TED* to Work and Life.

Two titles that make complete sense to everyone, right?

I know I will never give up my day job of coach and facilitator, for marketing – I am choosing to leave that to my experts at dtb! Marketing.

The 3 Vital Questions and TED* are the tools, drills, stories, exercises, the frameworks, the magic, that I work with and show my clients.

Both the 3 Vital Questions and TED* are the creation of David Emerald, co-founder of the Center for the Empowerment Dynamic, and author of two best-selling books: The Power of TED*™ and The 3 Vital Questions: Transforming Workplace Drama®.

When I saw David’s TED* presentation, some 4 or 5 years ago, in an International Coaching Federation webinar, I got excited! I understood the importance of it, and I can now see the depth of change this work does in transforming lives, transforming relationships, in changing how we go about operating from day to day, not only with others but with ourselves.

If you’re wanting to stop worrying now; or you’re more interested in becoming happy now; start tapping your toes to your favourite happy tune, because you’ve come to the right place! I’ve shared Pharrell William’s YouTube in case you need an immediate hit of happiness!

The 3 Vital Questions and TED* coaching and the training I facilitate is about supporting individuals, leaders, teams and whole companies to make the shift AWAY from problem-solving, worry, overwhelm, drama, waiting for the next shoe to drop, feeling anxious and making decisions reactively.

It is a powerful, empowering, life-enriching and business-changing move away from focusing on what we don’t want, and instead focusing on what it is we do want. Then making that the priority.

Before I’d heard about David’s work, I had come across Karpman’s Drama Triangle some 16+ years ago.

You may or may not have heard of the three (3) roles that were first described by a Dr Stephen Karpman, back in the 1960s as the Drama Triangle, which are the human default roles of the Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer. The roles can be played by 3 individuals, or by ourselves, alone, in seconds!

I could see those roles clearly and everywhere I looked afterward. I just didn’t know what could be done to address them or to change to? What was there I could do? What was the alternative? I left the Drama Triangle on the shelf to come back to, if I remembered, later when I was less busy.

David Emerald has, with Dr Karpman’s permission, recreated the Drama Triangle into the Dreaded Drama Triangle® .

What spoke to me was that David, in committing to his own personal transformation, a few decades back, one day he had a life-changing epiphany.

In his first book, The Power of TED*, David shares that he asked the god of his knowing, a burning question: What is the alternative to the Victim role?

To which, an answer came quickly, plain and simply, it is the Creator role.

From there, David created the antidote to the DDT, which is his TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic). The DDT roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer are replaced with life-changing, empowering TED* roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach.

I’m honoured to have joined company with David, his co-founder, Donna Zajonc, as one of the international team of certified trainers, to facilitate the 3 Vital Questions and TED* work. I’m happy to be introducing this for the first time in Australia.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

I know how that phrase can seem trite, at the wrong moment, can’t it? Tossed at you by a happy-Harold or from left-field, when you’re caught in a personal or professional dilemma. When we are in that worried, or confused space. When we do really wish to make a shift, but it seems more like a rocky mountain path, than a field of flowers, you’re going to need to traverse to get there. Let alone get happy about it this minute!

Don’t beat yourself up!

Accept it, that it’s ok, if that is how it’s been, til now.

Be kind to yourself.

From today the choices are always in our own hands.

I offer one-to-one coaching, team leadership programs, group eLearning courses, workshops, lunch-and-learns and more. There are many ways you can make this change for yourself. Then bring a positive ripple effect of change into your most important relationships.

Contact me for a discovery call via this booking button. There are some great deals we can discuss. For instance, if you’d like to do this with a buddy or bring it to your family, a group or your team. However, if you want to do it just for yourself first, that is an option that many leaders have been wise to choose too.

The options are endless! Let’s talk!

Take Care,

Susan