When I began revisiting the first 80 episodes of Coffee & Contemplation with Susan Dunlop, I knew this series would take an eclectic, flexible approach. Some moments are perfect as short audio spotlights. Others, like this one with 18-year-old Lucy Boulus, deserve to be experienced in full.
I tested today editing the audio down to a 10-minute soundbite. However, I wasn’t happy with the quality that the audio editor delivered. I know that will also have to do with my recording on Zoom in 2020. So, I’m delighted to share Lucy’s inspiring 10-minute highlight as a blog instead.
You can read the Key Points and Story that Lucy shared in the podcast below. If you’d prefer to hear her full episode without edits (including all the raw, honest moments that made it special), you can still find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
In this special spotlight episode, we revisit the inspiring conversation with Lucy Boulus, an 18-year-old navigating grief, anxiety, and self-discovery amidst a world in flux. Originally recorded on 30 April 2020, just as COVID-19 disrupted plans and routines globally, Lucy’s story is one of resilience, self-awareness, and growth. As the eldest sister of triplets, she shares her journey through loss, mental health struggles, and the unexpected joy of finding her purpose in teaching. It was, for a very long time, the most listened-to episode on the podcast show.
Join us as Lucy reflects on:
- Shifting from beauty therapy to pursuing a career in education.
- How grief following the loss of her grandparents led to battles with anxiety and depression—and how kinesiology helped her reconnect with herself.
- Overcoming the pressures of social media and reclaiming her self-worth.
- Her vision of helping future generations learn that it’s okay to feel lost but that help is always available.
This is a story of growth, courage, and finding hope in unexpected places—a message relevant at any age.
Susan Dunlop: Lucy Boulus is 18. She said I’ve got a story to tell that will give hope and encouragement to other girls and women. I’m a big sister of triplet siblings, I have lesbian parents, and I’m now co-parented across two homes. I’ve suffered anxiety and depression for the past four years, and my boyfriend is away in Canberra.
Lucy Boulus: My battle started in grade 9 or grade 10 around that time. I lost both my grandparents within the space of six months. Before the triplets came, they were my best friends.
So that’s where it all came on, losing my best friends and my grandparents. I was a pretty good student, like your A, B student without trying. After losing them, I really slipped. I couldn’t get out of bed, get to school. I was failing classes. When I did go to school, I never saw anyone. I sat in the guidance counsellor’s office.
As soon as the feelings came up, I went straight to Mum. I’ve had education on mental illnesses, and knowing that I was such a bright and happy person all the time to suddenly be hit with this massive wave of grief and these feelings of depression and anxiety, I knew I needed to speak up. We started talking about it straight away, decided to go see a psychologist, and that wasn’t helping at all. I’ve been to three or four different therapists, and they all felt the same for me. It felt forced, it was all mechanical, the questions were the same, everybody asked the same thing, and they all said, what you’re feeling is normal. But it wasn’t normal. I didn’t feel normal, and having these people sit there and tell me, what you’re feeling, it’s normal. We can fix you, but it’s normal.
Mum could see I was at my lowest point. My parents and I decided that it was best for me to start antidepressants to get that little bit of help because it’d been four years of such a tough battle, it’d gotten really bad. And so we’ve tried that, and I thought that helped a lot.
The feeling of low, it’s like I didn’t want to get out of bed. I couldn’t get up, couldn’t eat. I couldn’t keep food down and I wouldn’t want to talk to anybody. Talking to somebody, even my closest family, would frustrate me. I’d be really irritable all the time. And that’s not who I am as a person, love talking to people and I love being around people.
I stopped doing the things I loved. I didn’t go out of the house. I didn’t keep drawing or painting, which I really loved doing. So I really lost myself and I felt lost, too. But when I started taking the antidepressants, it gave me a boost. I wouldn’t say it made me completely better. It just gave me that extra boost to make sure I got out of bed and I ate some food and I was just up and functioning.
Because I was slowly coming back, but I wasn’t back to myself, that’s when we decided to look into kinesiology. That has been the most amazing experience of my life. Finally, I’m back to myself and a little bit more.
I found there was so much more flow to it. It was so much more comfortable and it didn’t feel forced. It was like, okay the way you’re feeling, it’s natural. It’s understandable. You’re grieving. You’re struggling within yourself. It’s natural, but it’s not normal. So we can help you get that back. Whereas with my psychologist, it was, Oh, that’s normal.
The kinesiology explained all the reactions in my brain and how my emotions are reacting with my body, so when I’m feeling anxious, I’ll shake or my breathing will speed up. And they were teaching me how that all connected to my brain. What I was feeling, it was natural. That’s how your body naturally reacts. But it’s not normal for you to feel like this all the time. I finally felt, wow, someone understands.
People are too focused on what they look like and how society accepts them for the way they look. Whereas with kinesiology, we’ve been looking at how my body works, what my body’s doing for me, being thankful that I can walk, I can breathe, I can think. Focusing on what my body does and what it looks like, I’ve gotten so much more confidence back.
I’m not worrying about what he’s thinking or she’s thinking. I’ve come back to who I was before all the depression, and I’ve become stronger within myself with everything that’s going on around me, which has been really great.
I was really lucky that I have such a supportive family, really amazing. Even my siblings, originally they didn’t know what was going on. They didn’t know why Lucy locked herself in her room. Why isn’t she coming out? When they saw me, they’d still be there like, hey do you want to come chat? Do you want to come hang out? So I think they’re always there for me, even if they were like totally confused with what was going on. I had like totally flipped into this new person.
My parents are always there, too, checking on me and supporting me. They weren’t forcing me to do anything, didn’t force me to speak out to them. They didn’t force me to do this or that. Both my parents just supported me to the point where I felt comfortable to talk to them and reach out.
Susan Dunlop: Do you have some connection to spirituality?
Lucy Boulus: I’ve always grown up surrounded by Christianity.
I went to a Christian college for my senior schooling and at primary school and my previous high school, they would do religion, but it was only ever Christianity. I really wanted to look into it myself because I’ve always been interested to see what other people believe in. And I’ve struggled with it because I feel like there is more to what’s on this physical earth. There is more around us. I just struggled because I couldn’t fit inside the box of Christianity and what the Bible says and what you should and shouldn’t be. This whole thing with being gay and all these things. I know Mum was saying the other week in her podcast episode about the penalties of sin being death or whatever. (Lucy is referring to Episode 8: Talking Christianity, Sexuality and the Magic of Country Community with Lyndalee Wilkie.)
Being spiritual isn’t about fitting in a box of a set religion. It’s about finding what makes sense to you, what makes you thrive, what makes you feel loved and happy and being able to portray that into the world in a way that you can.With myself, my spirituality, it’s with my painting and my art, I put love and creativity into that, and I put that out to the world for people to enjoy.
I work with kids. I absolutely love working with kids and I get to now do that for a job. I’m finding out who I am as a person through this journey with spirituality without forcing myself to fit within a box. My own beliefs and morals.
Susan Dunlop: Is there anything you could tell them, the first thing they could do?
Lucy Boulus: I’d definitely reach out to start with. Find your support system, find someone that you love, and someone who loves and cares for you, that you feel comfortable with, and just reach out, tell them how you’re feeling, and then just by doing that first step, getting it off your shoulders, and having someone else there to support and understand you, that’s a massive thing, that’ll really help you get through this journey and this battle, just by reaching out your hand and saying, Can someone please help me? I’m stuck.
I know that if I were brought up in a different family, I would have struggled because within our family, we talk about those sorts of things. It’s not something that we hide behind. So it was easier for me to reach out. But I know for some people, It’s not something that’s talked about. So it’s hard to say, can someone help me? I know I’m struggling. I need someone to talk to.
Susan Dunlop: What do you feel Instagram and others are doing to your age group? Is it good for you or bad for you?
Lucy Boulus: Social media, I find is really bad. Even though I am on social media, I’m at a point where I’m there to share what I want to share and not worry about what other people are thinking of me. Originally when I first started on social media, it was all about how your page looks, how well you look, how many followers you have, how many likes you have, all this nonsense. That social media builds your worth or who you are as a person. If you didn’t have this many followers, you weren’t as good as this person. That was really hard. I felt that really did impact my anxiety because I’d spend hours getting ready just to go to school, rather than have a uniform, I just have to eat, brush my hair, brush my teeth, go to school.
Whereas I would put on my uniform, so I’d make sure that I didn’t look too big, but I didn’t look too small, and make sure my shoes were the cool brand, or the most popular brand, and make sure that I had my makeup and my hair done, put on jewellery, just to get ready for school, just to learn, which is absurd.
When I first started high school, that’s when it was really bad. As I got older, in grades 11 and 12, it became more about my schoolwork and my friendships, and it wasn’t about what I looked like. Thank goodness, because that took up so much of my mental capacity, worrying about what people thought of me purely based on who I was on the outside rather than who I was on the inside.
Susan Dunlop: I wonder what will happen if both Facebook or Instagram or even Snapchat crashed at some stage, what’s that going to do to people’s way of growing as a young person, if they’ve not got that platform.
Lucy Boulus: Life would be good. I know. Mom would tell me about how they didn’t have phones, and they didn’t have social media, so it wasn’t about how you looked. It was about going out and enjoying life, spending time with the people that you love, and making those connections in real life.
Having those friends, having that support network, being able to go out and have fun. It wasn’t about sitting in your room, taking a selfie, and hoping you get a hundred likes on it.
I follow a few people on social media who have really helped me come out of my shell and not focus on likes or whatever. There is still a long way to go because I see younger, 12, 13, 14-year-old girls. They’re all about what they look like.
I just want to see who you are. I just want to experience you as a person, rather than seeing a person you’ve created purely because of what society thinks a person should look like.
What matters is who you are on the inside and what makes you come alive, and what makes you feel happy and thrive, and it’s not about what you look like or what society perceives you as.
Susan Dunlop: I had that extra joy of sitting here opposite Lucy while we were on Zoom and just watching someone of her age easily answer those questions and sharing something so valuable to so many of every age group.
A Final Thought from Lucy’s Story
Lucy’s words reminded me of the power of resilience and self-reflection, even at a young age. Her journey through grief, anxiety, and rediscovery felt like a sprinkling of realistic hope for anyone navigating their own challenges. Whether you’re an 18-year-old figuring out life or someone further along in your journey, Lucy’s story is a testament to the strength we uncover when we ask for help, look for the kind of healing that suits you best, and finding who you are, not fitting into someone else’s box!
If her story touched you, I encourage you to share this post or listen to the full conversation on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube. You never know who might need to hear that they’re not alone.
I am looking forward to sharing more of the Spotlight Series soon.
It’s a reflective journey of the many incredible stories and gems of wisdom shared in each one of the episodes that I have had the privilege to record since starting Coffee and Contemplation with Susan Dunlop in February 2020.