Are you happy today?

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out grinning at total strangers.

Maya Angelou

I used to walk into the kitchen for breakfast, already distracted.

Distracted enough to be looking down at what I was doing at bench-level, but not think to stop and lift my gaze and be grateful for the beautiful 180 degree view out our windows across Noosa National Park.

Then, I’d come home late, “tired and grumpy”, 12-hour days, having used a lot of energy. There was always more to do at work and at home, so maybe I was also “tired and frustrated, not just tired and grumpy”.

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When the student is ready, the teacher appears

Twice, over a period of 10 years, I had the opportunity to attend conferences, at which actor, Robyn Moore, was speaking. I took away from those conferences 2 simple and life-altering lessons. They set me on the path to make massive change in how I approached life and business.

Robyn Moore, was the voice of cartoon character, Koala Blinky Bill. I remember Robyn saying her goal was to become Australia’s highest paid female speaker. I imagine by now she may have achieved her goal.

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When I first heard Robyn speak, I was in the first 5 years of growing a busy, fast-pace company, that operated from 5am until 11pm, 7 days a week. By that stage, I didn’t work all those hours but had employed staff as we grew, to take over the after-hours. They knew they could call me if ‘spot-fires’ arose at any time, so my mind was usually switched on. Our 3 daughters would come to the office after school, go off to do their activities, go home with my husband, Tom, and I’d meet up at home later.

I was definitely struggling with prioritising self-care, not getting a lot of home-time, and there was no me-time. Any time in between work, I threw myself wholly into time with my husband and three young daughters.

I was running fast on adrenaline, heading to the office as early as sunrise. I’d cross the road at Noosa Junction, watching other locals driving by for a morning surf at Noosa Beach. That nearly stopped me in my tracks on many mornings, to turn back and go home. But I was motivated, driven, a leader, a high achiever, strong. There were things that MUST be done, and only I could do them… or so I believed back then. With a caffeine hit or two, I’d power into my day.

I was thriving on what I did in growing the company.

As a self-starter, with a Year 10 education, founding and owning that company was full of professional and personal growth for me. It was something of significance and surprise to me to have achieved what I had. It was a very Scorpio-woman happy place for me, in that I got to focus on, and become ‘as one with’ what I was doing.

I had built a reputation for professional high quality service to the health care industry and won business awards. I got to contribute, to serve our community, in terms of giving many nurses a pay packet each week, through getting them shifts. Giving 100s of thousands of hours of care each year to the patients and residents of hospitals and nursing homes.

In a way, it fulfilled my desire to become a nurse and midwife when I was in my early 20s. The company fulfilled the care needs of patients, just at a much bigger, not hands-on level.

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You may have heard of Maslow’s 6 human needs?

They are significance, certainty/control, variety, connection/love, growth and contribution. It’s said that if something fulfils just 3 of the human needs, you will become addicted.

I’d become addicted to the success of my company.

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At the first conference I heard Robyn Moore speak at, I recall her filling up the audience’s cups to overflowing.

There was no chance you wouldn’t at some stage cry as her messages hit heart and home; laugh at the silliness of feeling so important in our roles of business leadership; and become incredibly quiet as she had us ponder the question:

‘What’s it all about?’

When Robyn finished, we were to stay on, to listen to the keynote speaker that Saturday evening. I thanked Robyn, gave her a hug, left the room to go share an early dinner with Tom and night out on the Gold Coast with our girls.

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Family is what it is all about.

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Back at home, I began to practice what Robyn was preaching in my own way.

I prioritised self-care, me-time and home-time much more. Sometimes it was a challenge, but mostly I achieved making adjustments for better balance of family, me and work time.

At home, I changed my morning routine.

I’d get up early, dress, make the bed, clear the bedroom, stop and do my meditation practice for 20 minutes. Then walk into the kitchen knowing it’s going to be a good day. I’d say ‘good morning’ and put a load of washing on maybe. Go for a walk or dip in the ocean, listen to cool audiobooks or good music. Have a coffee by the river. Make breakfast for anyone who was home, before I moved onto my work-day.

At night, sunsets changed everything for me, and made it so much easier to close out the day.

I’d get away from work, to sit on the deck, with a wine, and whomever is home, to watch the sun go down. It makes it so easy to clock-off earlier, sunset being close to 5pm in Winter here. My husband and I would laugh, getting home in time for sunset, was a race against the clock!

At work, January was our industry’s quietest month, so I would be away with the family for the entire month.

I also started the early seeding of a plan to set the company up with a solid list of preferred supplier agreements and government contracts. We gained ISO quality certification. The company itself needed to be sustainable, with or without me, an entity of interest for acquisition by competitors, at any time.

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The second time I heard Robyn speak she repeated the same talk. One of her other key messages really caught my attention this time round.

Robyn said if you asked a classroom of school kids “whose parent comes home ‘tired and angry’?” most of their hands would shoot up.

Robyn’s message was that it only takes one simple question to transform this dilemma.

Before you stick your key in the keyhole ask yourself, “who’s coming home tonight?”

Yes, we are all tired, we all work hard!

However, we often fall into the habit of sticking another disempowering word next to “tired”. So “tired and angry, tired and grumpy, tired and impatient, tired and intolerant, tired and resentful” sometimes comes home.

Let “AND” open the door to an empowering word.

“Tired and grateful”, “Tired and ready to share the sunset”, “Tired and loving” will create more satisfaction than “tired and overwhelmed, overworked, underpaid.”

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You cannot be “tired and anything dis-empowering” sitting in front of a sunset.

Yes, you can be tired, but watching a sunset is so much more about appreciating what’s happening then and there. Listening to the birds, watching thousands of bat silhouetted against the sky, then the stars start to appear. Breathing out the day. Once the sun is set, putting on a good playlist, and maybe hop in the bath. ‘Cooking with love‘, sitting together to eat.

There’s absolutely no room for ‘grumpy’ to squeeze through the front door.

It is easy to put on a good face for the world then come home and be cantankerous with our loved ones. If you save your smiles and good moods for your family, that is ultimately more important than sharing it with strangers. Our loved ones deserve our best.

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This sprang to mind this morning, contemplating the quote “when the student is ready, the teacher appears”.

I thought I have to share the impact of Robyn Moore’s words with you. They seem simple messages but can be life-altering. I don’t know about you, but I always make a point to learn with the intent to teach the lesson to others.

“Who’s coming home tonight to your place?”

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If you’re struggling with adrenalin burn-out; or feel out of control so cannot find a way to delegate away responsibilities, or you’re spinning with busy-ness and excuses to avoid sailing towards your true purpose aligned with your values and using your gifts; or you’re feeling disconnected from family and friends, I work with women like you every week.

One life is all we have… what’s it all about?

How are you going to make your life, from today forward, more enjoyable, richer and fulfilling?

In the first 6 weeks of coaching I will get you realigned with what’s most important to you, connect you with your true desires and purpose, and begin to create a map to where you want to be 1, 3, 10 years from now. By focusing on all the important things that matter to you, you’ll soon be walking in the door at night, possibly tired but calm, clear-minded and loving – of yourself and those most important to you.

Are you happy today?

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Click this Button to schedule a free clarity call – I always offer a free session to chat and get to understand what your goals are, your challenges, the state of things for you right now and plot out a plan to develop strategies to take you to where you want to be. The button will take you to my scheduler – choose a time to suit you.

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Take care of yourself,

Susan